Fat and weak, what a disgrace

Guess the champ got too lazy

Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space

Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain

But he's no bum, he works down the street

He bought the neighborhood deli

Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat

Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say

Try the rye or the kaiser

They're on special tonight

If you want, you can have an appetizer

You might like our salami and the liver's all right

And they'd really go well with the rye

Or the kaiser

Never eats while on the job

He heard it's good to stay hungry

But he makes a pretty mean shish kabob

Have a taste, they were made fresh today

Try the rye or the kaiser or the wheat or the white

Maybe I can suggest an appetizer

Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight

But you just can't go wrong with the rye

Or the kaiser

So today, his deli comes first

Still he dreams of his past days of glory

Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst

All the while you can still hear him say

It's the rye or the kaiser, it's the thrill of one bite

Let me please be your catering advisor

If you want substitutions I won't put up a fight

You can have your roast beef on the rye

Or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser