There's a sale on our gabardine suits today

They're all thirty percent off from yesterday

There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool, and tweed

Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need

We got every color, we got ev'ry shade

We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade

We got every fabric that was ever made

But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede

We got portly and regular and extra-long

(Is my size up there?)

We got tailors to fix it if it comes out wrong

(Is my size up there?)

We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick

(Is my size up there?)

With the collars ripped off, like in that Flashdance flick

(Is my size up there?)

Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid

You can buy off the rack or have it custom-made

And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade

'Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede

If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom

(Is my size up there?)

We can get you the best one that's made in Taiwan

(Is my size up there?)

We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too

(Is my size up there?)

And we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you

(Is my size up there?)

Well, I never made it past the second grade

It took all of my life for me to learn this trade

But my friends are all thinking that I've got it made

'Cause I'm known the world over as the King of Suede

There's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits

Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose

Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes

King of Suede

Don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale

(Is my size up there?)

Look for our color catalog in next week's mail

(Is my size up there?)

There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today

It's the same old sale as yesterday

Thirty years in the same location I have stayed

There I am, right next door to Willy's Fun Arcade

I got tough competition, but I'm not afraid

'Cause it's my destiny to be the King of Suede

King of Suede

King of Suede

King of Suede

I'll always be King of Suede

I'll always be King of Suede