Whoa, yeah!

You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu

With automatic drive

A custom paint job, too

I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow

And a slightly used sombrero

And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist...

Craigslist!

I'm on Craiglist, baby, come on!

Yeah!

Well we shared a quick glance

Saturday at the mall

I never took a chance

Never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas

I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask

Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist!

Yeah, Craigslist, come on!

I'm on Craigslist

Oh, baby, maybe you are too!

Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!

An open letter to the snotty barista at the Coffee Bean on San Vacente

Boulevard:

I know there were twenty people behind me in line,

But I was on a cell phone call with my mother.

Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?

That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes.

So what's with the attitude lady?

No tip for you!

Got a trashcan of Styrofoam peanuts

You can have 'em for free

You can drop by on the weekend

And pick 'em up from me

But the trashcan ain't part of the deal

Only givin' you the peanuts, get real!

Don't have no Hefty bag so bring your own,

Don't bug me with questions on the phone

Don't ask for help, don't waste my time

And don't complain, 'cause they won't cost you a dime

Just ask yourself:

Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?

You can have my Styrofoam peanuts.

Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?

You can have them all.

They're on Craigslist, yeah!

Craigslist! Ow, baby come on!

I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist!

I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now