Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps

Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants

I'm here before you to stand behind you

To tell you something I know nothing about

Next Thursday, which is Good Friday

There's a women's meeting for men only

Free admission, pay at the door

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor, yeah

It's a long crawl back to the garden

So get me off my hands and knees

'Cause the church keeps spittin' me out

Now we all know where they're comin' from

We just don't know where they're goin'

I am a Christian, I am Buddha

Hari Krishna, I am a Jew

I am Satan, have Zen within me

I have Jesus, I am human

We got the same guy every time

In a brand new clever disguise

So before you go and make up your mind

If Christ came knocking on your door

Dressed up like the devil, would ya let him in?

Would ya let him in?

Would ya let him in?

Would ya let him in? Yeah

(Ooh, ooh)

(Ooh, ooh)

(Ooh, ooh)

(Ooh, ooh)

I hope this ain't the wrong direction

'Cause it all feels exactly the same

And it's gonna get me where I'm going

So enjoy the ride and don't get hooked

They're all the same temptations

I am a Christian, I am Buddha

I'm Hari Krishna, I am a Jew

I am Satan, have Zen within me

I have Jesus, I am human

I am a Hindu, I am Sheikh

I am a Muslim, I'm an Atheist

I have Satan, I am a Christian

I am Buddha, I am human, human

I am human

(Ooh, ooh)

(Ooh, ooh)

(Ooh, ooh)

(Ooh, ooh)

I am human, human, human, human

"Say man, can I get ya somethin'?"

"Yeah, man you doin' alright?"

"Yeah right here man, help me out."

"You know, there's a lot of people who's talkin' 'bout a lot of things they don't know what they're talkin' 'bout."

"Yeah, I hear ya."

"I mean, it'll be alright.

Don't worry 'bout it."