Bobby the Book and Sammy the Snitch

Both trying to get with Alabama the Bitch

She'd date any scoundrel as long as they're rich you know

She's juicing the Philly's and riggin' the rig

She's taking the wagers and laying the vig

It's not a profession but it ain't a bad gig oh no

Penny arcade had a bad break

Was it supposed to happen or just a mistake

And who's gonna know when everyone's on the take yeah

A day at the races a shot at the dark

Santa Anita or Hollywood park

The odds are against you and that's how they stay

But that's what you get if you play

Manny the Mug and Shelly the Shill

Are trying to drink something other than swill

So who do they got? a-Jupiter Jill in the fifth

Long shot came in at ninety to one

They bet twenty large with Alabama

But she never laid it down 'cause that horse had never won

Manny and Shell got nothing from 'Bam

Put out a hit so she went on the lam

There's no one for Bobby and no one for Sam oh no

A day at the races a shot at the dark

Santa Anita or Hollywood park

The odds are against you and that's how they stay

But that's what you get if you play

And that's what you get when you play