What's a girl like you

Doin' in a place like this?

I left my place after midnight

And I came to this hall

Me and my girlfriend, wecame here

Lookin' to ball

You came to the right place

This is it

This is the swingin-est place

In New York City

NO SHIT!

How true it is

Me and my girlfriend, we come here

Every night looking for that

Hot romance we need

We like to get it on --

Do you like to get it on, too?

Well now, what did you have in mind?

Okay: well I get off bein' juked

With a baby octopus

An spewed upon with cream corn! AAH... UNH!

An' my girlfriend, she digs it

With a hot YOOHOO bottle

While somebody's screamin':

CORKS 'N' SAFETIES

PIGS 'N' DONKEYS

ALICE COOPER'S GONNA ... AAAAAAH!

Well, it gets me so hot

I could scream

ALICE COOPER, ALICE COOPER! YAAAAH!

ALICE COOPER, ALICE COOPER! YAAAAH!

You two chicks sound real far aout and groovy

Ever been to a Holiday Inn?

Mna-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa...

Magic Fingers in the Bed (Picture it!)

Wall-mounted TV screen:

Coffee-Wost plugged into the bathroom wall

Formica's really keen!

(Chorus line) What kind of girl do you think we are?

What kind of girl do you think we are?

Don't call us groupies

That is going too far

We wouldn't ball you

Just because you're a star

These girls wouldn't let just anybody

Spew on their vital parts

They want a guy from a group with a

Big hit single in the charts

Funny you should mention it:

Our new single just made the charts this week

With a bullet! With a bullet!

Lust let me put a little more

Rancid Budweiser on my beard right now, Baby

And you can show me how a young girl such as you

Might be thrilled and overwhelmed by me...

What hotel did you say you are staying at?

Wanna split right away?

Not so fast, you silly boy... there's one thing I gotta say:

(Chorus line) We want aguy from a group who's got a thing in the charts

We want aguy from a group who's got a thing in the charts

We want aguy from a group who's got a thing in the charts

We want aguy from a group who's got a thing in the charts

And if his dick is a monster

If his dick is a monster

If his dick is a monster

We will give him our hearts...

Hold it! Please hold it!

My God, Madge... you voluptuous New York City slit...

Why did'nt you tell me before?

It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on,

but.. now that I see you... I would have helped...

I didn't know you were so obviously.. PREGNANT...