Sell us a president, agency man

Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps

Sell us a president, agency man

A gay smiling nothing we know never craps

Let's try California,

(Pay us first before we do it!)

We'll get a smilin' nazi

And march him right on through

Rent a baby

Kiss a baby

Ladies in for tea

And here's a bunch of speeches

We'll toss 'em in for free

Sell us a president, agency man

Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps

Sell us a president, agency man

A gay smiling nothing we know never craps

We'll sell him in the movies

On the tube throughout the year

We'll sell him by the buckets

To the Okies drinking beer

We'll teach him how to walk and talk

We'll putty up his chin

We'll print his picture everywhere

Of course the SCHMUCK will win

From the heart of old Death Valley

To the ruling of our land

A simple trick, you simple pigs

Just the way we planned