Beautiful schemer came in through the door

Took off her necklace and crouched on the floor

Says she wants peace but don't know why for sure

Tell me your plan beautiful schemer

'Cos I've been out working my hands on the farm

Curse at my bosses that don't do them no harm

I'm waiting for action 'cos I can't stand the calm

Then I come home, baby sings folk songs.

Here I lie waiting for me true love to see me

His heart of the white rose and mines of the red

Northern romance in the inn of good plenty

Lord make him kind when he goes to my bed

Beautiful schemer came in through the night

Smiled with her left eye but glared with her right

Said shall we go out and worship the night

Tell me the prayer, beautiful schemer

'Cos I've been out working my hands on the grime

Working at Turner's on the assembly line

And I heard of the good life, but I know it ain't mine

Then I come home, baby takes downers

Here is a nice little bottle of sleepers

They'll help me to stay in me little dream world

There's moggies and mandies and nice little white ones

I'll dream that me true love is stroking me curls

Am I out of this race is that a smile on your face

Am I sorry for this misdemeanour

On the Icelandic coast with some hot buttered toast

Would an artist have made it much cleaner

Now you sit on the floor when he calls out for more

Did you feel the effects of the acid

With his lunatic air and face so debonair

He made Liszt and Lord Byron look placid

Beautiful schemer she wanders through the yard

Trying to make her good love look so hard

You think she's the answer but you hold the cards

Deal me in quick beautiful schemer

I've been out working to buy you a meal

My protest is shrink-wrapped, got a factory seal

And you say shall we go out and try to make it real

I need you to help that baby's got pen friends

Beautiful schemer with the never-ending smile

Invites you inside to her head for a while

Minx of the North lake, mad bitch of the Nile

Go back to Troy, beautiful schemer.

'Cos I come from Fulham where fables aren't made

Where night-life is ruled by DMs and blade

Sometimes I just get to feel quite afraid

I need you to help but baby plays hockey

Swish goes the stick when the ball hits the netting

I play with the girls on the old village green

And later we go to the fair and eat liqourice

Soon it will be Mayday and I'll be your queen

Beautiful schemer she lives far away

Never did listen to much that I'd say

Lives in a parallel world in a way

That I just can't come in, no no no.

And I'm going to go, don't want to see you no more

Going back to the ghetto with an uncultured roar

We never got much further than your door

Beautiful schemer, why are you crying

My body boys left me for a far away haven

My ribbon is wasted, my maidenhood black

He says that he's going and he won't be returning

Oh speed little glove and bring my Johnny back