Wake up Major and stitch on your hat

You fell out of bed and then you landed in the cash

So what's in your diary today?

Call on your main man, what can he do for you?

Hang out with stupid, so you can tell him what to do

Major this is your day

Living alone in a jar

Never gets you very far

He can read your mind, make you feel alright

Sgt. Major knows what you want

He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star

Yeah, the Major knows what you want

Take out your paper, throw it away

Everything is useless, ain't got a lot to say

Major, this is your way

The Major is drowning 'cause he opened his mouth

He starts to explain it but nothing's coming out

Major, what can you say?

Hope that you like who you are

'Cause living alone in a jar never gets you very far

He can read your mind, make you feel alright

Sgt. Major knows what you want

He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star

Yeah, the Major knows what you want

I know you think that you made it

I know what I'm meant to say

But while you looked in the mirror I was getting away

To you there is nothing to say

He can read your mind, make you feel alright

Sgt. Major knows what you want

He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star

Yeah, the Major knows what you want